Heavenly Father's little/big reminders

Today I am thankful for Heavenly Father's way of reminding us of how small some of our problems really are. As of late, I have been stressed out (to the point of having panic attacks), over something I now realize is really, really, stupid...and very small! That reminder happened today. I will tell you the story...it's a little long, but worth the read (I think).
  Most people who know me, know how much our family has been struggling financially. My husband and I finally learned some hard lessons and have been prepared to start a new adventure (which will hopefully end our struggle, if all goes well). Most of you know that we have officially started an inflatable rental business, Dilland (pronounced Dill Land) Inflatables, LLC. In order to start up this business we cashed out Nathan's old 401K from his previous job. That money was just sitting there so we decided to use it! One of the things on our list to purchase was a gas/money efficient car for Nathan to drive to work. Well, last night Nathan went online and found a sweet looking Honda Civic for only $2500 (we later found out that the sellers wife accidently posted the wrong price, but he decided to honor the posted price for us...they were really nice people). The car gets about 30-32 m/per gallon and only takes about $26 to fill up. The best money saver car we've ever purchased! It will be saving us about $200.00 a month. So, we were thrilled to find it. The car had only been posted on craigslist for an hour and Nathan was the first to call (in fact while on the phone, others were trying to make a deal with the owner).
  So, today, in the pouring rain, we set out to test drive this little car. We got to the owners beautiful house and I decided to wait in the car with all four crazy littles.  A minute later Nathan came running to my window and said, "Hey they said you can take the kids inside and wait while I test drive the car." Before I could answer, the older two were sprinting down the driveway and Nathan was unbuckling Payton. So, I got the baby and made a run for it into the nice home.
  The wife of the owner was so welcoming, nice, and really upbeat-happy. Nathan left and we started chatting (it was as if we already knew each other). The kids warmed up to this woman, who we found out was named Aren. I loved the way she just stood and listened to my children as if every word they said was extremely important and she cared about everything they talked about. Even Kylie was talking her ear off!!!! For those of you who know Kylie, know how shy she is. And, most people don't get to see the real her (she is such a chatter box!). She never just opens up to strangers, like she did with Aren. And Aren hung on to every word, and was so genuine. She was so interested....I was in kind of a shock. She was also really interested in AnnMarie. I noticed how she kept staring at her and smile this huge smile.
  Well Kylie started naming all of her friends in her pre-k class, "...then there's Bella and Baylee..." And, then, I saw Aren's eyes get wide with excitement and she said, "My two girls are named Bella and Baylee. Bella never leaves her room though and Baylee died when she was a baby."
!!!!!!!!!My heart dropped! Like and idiot I stared at her with a blank face. That is one of my biggest fear, was losing a child. Well Aren wasn't finished speaking.
"Yeah she died in the bombing." (the OKC bombing in 1995).
I wanted to cry right there but all I did was stare. The first thing that came to mind when she said that was this photo that was so popular every where:

 

Then my heart really broke with the next words that came from her mouth...

"You know that popular picture with the firefighter holding the baby? That was my little Baylee."

After she said that, my stupidity came spilling out of my mouth and all I could say was,

 "Seriously? That was seriously your baby....that is so sad..........." Then nothing, I was speechless! Why couldn't I be more affectionate? Yeah, face meet palm!

Anyways, Aren could see that I couldn't speak, so she started talking about Baylee.

  "That bombing happened the day after her first birthday. Yeah, I was so worried about SARS going around. Then I finally let her go back and then the bombing happened and she died." 

  She said this all the while looking at my baby (who is almost a year old).  All I could think of was how heart breaking this was and here she was. So happy, upbeat, and so, so nice (not an ounce of bitterness). I see now why she loved being around my kids and talking to them and loving each word they said. You never know if/when you are going to lose a loved one, especially your children.

  At that very moment I realized how little my problems really were. What a reminder this experience was. Here this woman who lost her child in a bombing, her picture was posted everywhere as a reminder, and she was so happy. I am so blessed and thankful to have met this amazing daughter of God. I hope I can be half as amazing and generous as she is.

 

And if I could say one thing to her sweet little Baylee it would be: that you have an awesome Mom and Dad. And you have such a sweet little brother. I am so glad I got to meet your amazing family. And, I am so grateful to have learned more about you. I have seen your picture many times. It breaks my heart to see it. But, I know you are in Heaven looking down at your family with tears of joy. Knowing how great they are and how well they are doing. Your story and your mother have touched me deeply and I thank you with my whole heart. I hope to meet you in person some day after I die and give you the biggest hug I can muster. Rest in peace sweet little baby angel Baylee. :-)