Sorry ahead of time for this post. I just need to vent. So if you aren't in the mood for my word vomit (as my friend Shanilee would call it, LOL :) ), then don't read.....
My sour mood all started last night as I was doing some research online. You see, I have three beautiful children (all of whom I am extremely greatful for). Some of you readers know that my last baby, Payton, my six month old, caused my body some harm. I tell every one that I am built to give birth to babies and that I am so not built to carry them! I have been induced with all three of my children because of my petit frame (in other words I HAVE NO ROOM). With Payton I developed Diastasis Recti. In lamens terms, My stomach muscles have separated completely. In fact, you can fit a little more than two fingers in between my muscles (I just measured last night). The only way to fix it, is with a tummy tuck. Which is cosmetic surgery. For those of you that don't have this problem....all I can say is that it SUCKS! It hurts my stomach when I bend over sometimes, and My back hurts because my muscles aren't there to support my pelvis and spine. Which causes me to have bad posture and will eventually cause my spine to curve. After doing the research I have come to find out that because it is a cosmetic surgery, most if not all insurance companies will not cover the correction. No matter the problems they cause, they simply won't cover it because it happens to a lot of women and because it doesn't cause any significant health issues. So pretty much I have to deal with it or pay about 7K out of our pocket! And, to top it off, I still want to have one more child. So I keep agonizing! Do I destroy my body more for one more spirit in this world? Or, do be selfish and stop now? And, this condition causes my belly to bulge and causes extra fat and extra skin to hang out. So, naturally I am absolutely disgusted when I look in the mirror. Yet, it could all be fixed by one surgery. If only I were rich right? :(
Anyways, on top of all this self image crap, I have a sink full of week old nasty dishes, two dirty kids room to clean, a nasty dining room that needs to be sand blasted because it's covered in so much filth, laundry needs to be done, the back porch needs to cleaned, I need to vacuum, organize the linen closet, give the baby a bath, pick up Matthew from school, wash the windows, tell Kylie for the MILLIONTH time to STOP SUCKING HER FINGER AND STOP TWIRLING HER HAIR!!! I also need to clean out the fridge, clean the counter tops, clean the kids bathroom, and plan Kylie's birthday (which is three or four weeks). And, it's already 1:00 and I STILL HAVEN'T HAD A SHOWER....... IN THREE DAYS!!!! It is soo one of those overwhelming days that I just want to throw in the towel and eat chocolate ice cream ALL day!!!!!! Oh and cry! Sorry for the rant, but I sooooo needed to get that out.
