Music!

    I know I have skipped a few days of thankfulness but I have had a very stressful week. While it was stressful, I have been able to cope with everything through music.
    As long as I can remember, music has been my therapy, my friend, my free advise, my wise companion, my mood, and well, part of who I am.  I believe I got my love of music from my Dad. He was in band and passed his talents and love of music to my siblings and I. As a child I remember my Dad constantly singing, humming, or whistling a tune. Whether he made the tune up himself or not, he constantly had a song in his head. I love him for that. I love that he instilled in me a love for music. Because of him I decided to play cello and taught myself to play piano. My father also has a great singing voice. I used to LOVE hearing him sing hymns in church or listen to him sing to me. Two of my favorites were "I'm trying to be like Jesus,"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ADqwIiHYqU and, my absolute favorite, "I believe in Christ." (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=stge7KqgEN8)
  Also, as long as I remember, music has helped me get through EVERYTHING! Even house chores. My parents would wake us up every Saturday morning with music....that was our cue that it was time to get up and CLEAN. I loved it! I loved waking up every Saturday to that music. I still didn't like cleaning but that music made it FUN! I will post some of my favorites that we listened to;
1. The Monkees: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nU615FaODCg
2. Michael Jackson:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HzZ_urpj4As
3. The Best of Bread: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24IfD-0VUu4 (this one is kind of sad, but for some reason it's one of my favorites...)
4. Whitney Houston: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eH3giaIzONA
5. Celine Dion: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4p_3scB_8c (love this one!)
  Those were some fun Saturdays! Along with chores, music has helped me through the hardest times in my life. Even as a teenager, I made some horrible mistakes and awful choices. As, a result I had some serious repenting to go through and I did not fully understand the repentance process. Music helped me to better understand godly sorrow, and what the atonement truly means. It also helped me through this time to gain a testimony of the gospel on my own (instead of using my parents testimony). These songs helped me through those times (one of the links is an entire EFY album, but I suggest listening to the whole thing. I love every song on there! They each helped me and touched my soul).https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Fu7sgsyFB4,  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0pEpeldr0NU.
   Later in life I was still figuring out who I was and made some EXTREMELY questionable choices. I was engaged once before (he was atheist). Three years I was with him, I tried to help him find faith in Christ, but the more I prayed the more I realized it wasn't going to work. Then I heard this song, and it help me to make the ultimate decision to end things; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhjUq7YvF88.
   Right after that time in my life I found the love of my life and this song made so much sense to me and related to me exactly!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-vZlrBYLSU Well first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes..... Before I knew it, I was about to have my first child and was about to be a mother for the first time.  As I was driving to the hospital to be induced, I listened to this song, over, and over!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMl8cQjBfqk The title is so appropriate, it's called "The Adventure." And, what an amazing adventure it has been!
  Unfortunately, along with being a mother, postpartum depression has hit me with 2 of the 4 children I've had (Matthew and Payton). I don't remember what music helped me get through Matthew's (it was pretty bad with him), but with Payton it wasn't as severe. I was able to recognize the problem and was able to cope better. This song came on the radio (I think it was a gift from a loving Heavenly Father),https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1T9apksOv6k and it was as if the depression just lifted off my shoulders right then. I went home and downloaded the song right away. And, the moment the depression would tried to creep back, I played that song and was instantly soothed.
   I have always had a hard time hearing that still small voice to guide me where I need to go. I believe that Heavenly Father knows that, and gives me revelation through music. There are times when I really need to hear something and it doesn't matter how many times someone will tell me, I won't get it. But, I hear a song that has the same message and BAM I get it! Like recently, I have been having a hard time letting go of the hurt in my heart over someone else's actions. My husband told me to just let it go, so did a few other people. I just COULD NOT DO IT. As, much as I prayed and tried, it wouldn't happen. Then today as I was driving this song (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfWlot6h_JM) came on back to back on different stations. Of, course it was exactly what I needed to hear and has made all the difference. So...I'm just going to "shake it off," and every time my brain tries to start thinking about it, I listen to the song and feel better instantly.
 I am so, so, so, so, so thankful for music! It has been a beacon for me at times. I relate my life to different songs and it is my therapy. So, if you are talking to me and there is a really good song that starts playing....don't be offended if I shush you or stop listening to you altogether....I literally can't help myself. That is how much I love music...it's the only thing (besides the temple of course, LOL) that helps me tune out the world and helps me feel at peace.
  And, if you are wondering...my favorite band is Weezer and this is one of my favorite songs by them (and I have many favorites).https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qTJuGxhGGMc Yes, this song is about a spider....and I think it's hilarious.

And just for a little treat...this is my current favorite song (it contains a little cussing...so don't listen if there are little ears around).https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PCkvCPvDXk  I can relate to this song. LOL

HAPPY LISTENING!!!

 



  

Day 6

Ten months ago I was in the hospital, experiencing for the fourth time, the magical moment of child birth. Into my life came another beautiful baby girl. She is my most high maintenance baby by far! But she is cute as a button and loud as a dog whistle (LOL yes she can get that high pitched). She is not even one yet and already loves princesses and anything girly. She might be my most girly girl yet. She also already has my love of music. Every time any song or beat comes on she starts to dance....which is the most adorable thing I've ever seen (I am probably being biased though). She really is a huge bundle of joy stuck in the tiniest petite body. She is so smart also. I am very thankful for my beautiful baby. She has brought me so much joy through this year of hard times. I love my AnnaMaria (that's what I call her sometimes). I am so thankful for my rug rat. :-)

 

 

Day 5

I am thankful for my second daughter. She is my sweetheart. She is the sweetest most kind hearted little girl you will ever meet. She also has a gift of making anyone laugh at the drop of a hat. She always has a positive attitude. She helps me with everything and loves it. In fact she has never been in trouble or put in time out (because I've never had to, not because she's spoiled....because she is definitely NOT spoiled and she knows her boundaries). She hasn't had an easy life. Since birth she has had multiple surgeries and countless doctor appointments. Through it all she still tries to laugh and makes life fun, always keeping a smile on her sweet face. Even this week she had something she loved taken from her and was hurt by people who are supposed to love her, she also has three huge sores in her mouth (from eating too much candy...oops), and today she had a cast taken off, her foot was stretched (to the point of tears and screams..it was torture for her), prodded and poked, a mold made for a brace, and a new cast put on (they stretched her foot through every one of those processes too, causing more tears and anguish). I don't know how she does it. But, through it all she still has found ways to smile and laugh through the pain. I love my little ball of sunshine. She is mommy and daddy's beautiful princess inside and out. And, I am thankful and extremely blessed to have such a perfect example of Christ-like love in my life.

Day 4

 I am thankful for my beautiful oldest daughter! She is oh so stubborn, but oh so kind. She is sensitive and can't stand to hurt others feelings. She is shy but doesn't hold back with those she is close to. Only a lucky few get the pleasure of knowing the real her. I am so blessed to have her. She teaches me patients and how to be kinder. She teaches me how to be more gentle and sensitive to her and her siblings needs. She might be a daddy's girl, but she will always have a special place in my heart. I love her girly girlness (I just made that word up, LOL). She helps me put away my tom-boy tendencies and be a girl. I have never liked Barbie's, but she has taught me to use my imagination and get over those dislikes. LOL. She has taught me many, many things. And, I am so thankful for her!

Month of Thankfulness: Days 1, 2, & 3

It's that time of year again, fall is here, and Thanksgiving is just around the corner. Instead of waiting until Thanksgiving to say what I am thankful for, I want to say what I am thankful everyday this month. I already wrote what I was thankful for on the first and second in my journal, so I will just copy what I wrote on here and add todays.

   November 1st: I am thankful for both my savior and His sacrifice for me, and for a LOVING Heavenly Father from which all of my blessings come from. Right now he is blessing Nathan and I with an opportunity to no longer be financially poor. He has helped us with being able to start our business. It hasn't happened yet, but it will very soon. And, it's extremely AMAZING to see His hand in helping us get through such hard times. He has heard our pleas and prayers and is answering each one. I can't wait for this next adventure and to see where it brings us.

  November 2nd: I am thankful for my husband. He has sacrificed so much for our family and still continues to sacrifice. He works so hard for us, and works harder than he should, to make us happy and support us. He is a worthy priesthood holder. Something I will ALWAYS be forever grateful for! He is one of my bestest friends. I love him to pieces, and love the fact that we will be together for eternity.

  November 3rd: Today I am thankful for my son. He is such a joy! He does what I ask without complaint and says, "yes mom," every time. He is smart and generous. He has a big heart and loves to share. He treats his sisters and I with the upmost respect. He looks up to his father and follows in his footsteps. I love the millions of hugs he gives me everyday. And, I love how much he loves the savior and is eager to learn more about Him. I am so, so thankful he is part of our family and that he will be my son for eternity!

OUCH!!!!!!!!!!

What a monumental fail I've had. It all started last night. I was in bed when my phone went off...in the living room. So, I got up and navigated my way to my phone. On the way I noticed the girls left their princess castle in the middle of the room (I left a mental note to remember said castle on the way back). After I got to my phone and shut off the sound and turned to go back to bed....and....BAM! What the heck happened to that mental not of the stupid castle??? Dang it, that hurt. The first thought that came to my mind was, "that sucked, at least I didn't break anything!" Boy was I in for a treat or maybe it's more of a trick (see what I did there with the Halloween thing and stuff? LOL) I am a nerd I know.

So, the next morning I get the kids up, I curl up on the couch as the kids eat breakfast (shushing them the entire time so they don't wake the baby). Well, the kids finally finish eating and, very LOUDLY start getting ready for school. My precious oldest daughter decided to be extremely loud...right next to the baby's bedroom door. So, in lightning speed I grab said daughter and physically try to move her away from the door. Well....she didn't want to move at lightning speed so my foot or rather, my toe collided with the back of her foot "D$&MN it!!!!!!" Then the next step I take to recover...."$#&T"...stepped on a FREAKING LEGO!!! And the final step I take???!!!! A #!$%#% STICKER!!!!!! WHAT???!!!!! Why can't I win today? EPIC FAIL!!!!! Sorry for all the swearing but you would too given the situation. I did say it to myself and not out loud for the most part, at least. Although I am cracking up as I write this I'm not sure if it's because the situation was stupid funny (and I kind of pictured me looking like a scene out of Home Alone), or because this prescription Ibuprofen has kicked in. Either way, you have my permission to laugh. LOL! So, as a result I am 90% sure my second to last toe is now broken (just in time for Halloween, GO ME!). And for the record if I had know it was "national hate your feet day," I would've stayed in bed.

 

Here is a crappy photo I took. It looks way worse now, by the way (Add a touch of blue on the inside of my toe and that is what it looks like now).

P.S. The baby slept through the entire thing...so not a complete fail, right? 

A letter to Kylie

Dearest Kylie,

You turned 5 years old today. You are in preschool and are one of the smartest kids in your class and your teacher told me that she actually relies on you to help the other kids in your class.  You are so, so smart and generous, which makes you even more beautiful (inside and out). I love your tender heart and just want you to know that you will be an amazing mother someday (way better than me). You are constantly looking out for all your siblings and I love hearing how much you want to be a mommy.
 You have given me your fair share of scares also. Like when you rammed your head into a fire hydrant and even worse, you scared me just a few days after you were born. You turned orange and wouldn't eat. They sent you to the NICU, where they told me you were severely jaundiced. I thought I was going to lose you. But, you are a fighter and you never back down. Which is why I love your stubbornness. You may be a daddy's girl but you will always be my baby. I love you so, so, so much. HAPPY BIRTHDAY PRINCESS KY, KY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love Mommy

P.S. Sorry it's a day late. :-(

(I wish I had a better picture of when you were born but I can't find one..)

 

 

 
 
 

 
 

 

 

 

(I took this picture yesterday on her birthday before she went to school)